Self-Care

Hi Sunshine!

Can I call you sunshine? Okay, awesome. That mean’s were officially cool, because I’m pretty sure I’ve called everyone who makes me happy sunshine at some point in my life.

I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. You know, putting my thoughts out on the big, wide, internet world for anyone to see. Typically, I’m pretty quiet and don’t love to do anything that brings extra attention to myself. Small talk with a stranger? I have anxiety just thinking about it! What do I even talk about? Can’t you just see why starting a blog for anyone and everyone to be able to see would naturally make the most sense for me to do right now?! It’s only taken me a month to actually force myself to be ok with writing this post… no big deal.

Anyways, now that I got that awkward introduction out of the way, where do I start? Let’s go back to 2015. I just graduated with my bachelors in psychology and was ready to take on the world with my master plan: get a job, get married, and become a mom. Literally. After putting in countless job applications to psych labs, I managed to score a full-time job at the preschool I worked at through college (which honestly was the biggest blessing in disguise… so we consider that a win). But… SPOILER ALERT: the second two things on that list have yet to happen.

Most people would argue that I’m only in my 20’s and have the rest of my life to reach those goals. And they aren’t wrong. But don’t you just LOVE when you tell someone you feel like you’re so far behind on something you’re working towards and that’s what you get back as a response? Deep down, I know all of that. Do I sometimes feel silly when I think about how I had put so much energy into this master plan without really knowing anything about the world? Am I happy I have this new-found wisdom as a late 20-something? Sure. I’ve read self-help books. I’ve listened to other people’s stories. I’ve gotten loads and loads of advice. I know it’s ok (and quite frankly, probably the best… for me). Knowing all this, however, doesn’t make the fact I still feel a sense of underlying disappointment because I have yet to achieve a plan that I made as a teenager (lol). 

Alright- back to present day. It’s February 2021 (or as I like to call it: 2020 part 2). And while I have yet to reach part two or three of my three-step plan, the good news is… I’ve done a whole heck of a lot since 2015. I ended a serious relationship because I knew it wasn’t what was meant for me (talk about growth), babysat a lot, moved 300+ miles away from my hometown, earned a masters and sixth year certificate in school psychology, became a mediocre baker and chef, and I’m getting a puppy in just a few days! All of these are things that should be celebrated! Like, HELLO! Look how far you have come in five years.

Yet, for some reason, all I can think of in the back of my mind is the fact that I still. don’t. have. a. family. of. my. own.

This thinking stops today.

t’s time to celebrate the little (and big) wins and losses; and this wonderful life I have been given. It’s time to bring some positivity to a little corner of the internet. If you’re still reading and made it this far… I hope it means you’re along for the ride with me.

So buckle up, grab your favorite snack and/or beverage, and join me in my attempt to make this world a more positive place. 🙂